How You Show Up: Change the belief. Change the Outcome.
Thanks for joining me on this journey!
The purpose of these pages is to help you go deeper into the ideas, stories, and research found throughout How You Show Up, while connecting you with additional videos, tools, resources, and opportunities for reflection along the way.
Whether you’re here as part of a team book study, a leadership retreat, a professional learning experience, or simply reflecting on your own, my hope is that these resources help you take what you’re reading and put it into practice.
Because ultimately, this work isn’t just about what we know or what we intend. It’s about the beliefs we hold, the choices we make, and how we consistently show up for the people around us.
So, let’s get to work!
What This Book Is About
The most important person you’ll ever lead is the one in the mirror.
Most books try to motivate you. How You Show Up asks you to meet yourself honestly. Not because you aren’t enough, but because real change starts with the beliefs that quietly drive everything you do.
There’s a gap in all of us between who we intend to be and who others actually experience. This book is about closing that gap.
What You’ll Find Inside
Honest reflection on the beliefs shaping your leadership, your relationships, and the way you walk into every room
Real stories that show the gap between intention and impact, and what it takes to close it
A fresh look at what you avoid, including the conversations, risks, and opportunities you never pursue
Practical ways to make intentional choices and turn them into consistent action
Reflection questions at the end of each chapter for personal growth or group study
For anyone who leads a classroom, a team, an organization, or simply their own life.
What are people saying . . .
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Suzy Kolber
Award-Winning Sports Broadcaster
Success isn’t built in the spotlight. It’s built through the beliefs we hold and the reps we put in when no one is watching. That’s exactly what How You Show Up is about. It’s an inspiring reminder that lasting success begins long before anyone notices.
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Chris Singleton
Keynote Speaker and Author
How You Show Up speaks directly to the truth: what we believe is possible for ourselves and for other people determines how we respond when life gives us every reason to give up.
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Tony Cattani
2025–2026 National Principal of the Year
This book is a practical guide for any leader who wants to move past vision statements and actually build the belief that turns a school, or any organization, into a place where people feel valued and inspired to grow.
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Clint Pulver
Emmy Award-winning speaker & Author
The leaders who build the kind of culture people never want to leave aren’t the ones with the best perks; they’re the ones who’ve done the internal reflection work this book asks of you. If you want to understand why your best people stay or walk, start by evaluating how you show up.
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Damon West
Coauthor of The Coffee Bean
My life is living proof of the message Tom Murray shares in How You Show Up. Real transformation doesn’t wait for your circumstances to improve; it starts with the story you choose to believe about yourself—one thought at a time.
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Marlon Styles
former National Superintendent of the Year
In How You Show Up, Tom Murray gives our understanding of belief a pulse and challenges us to make it a lifestyle. If belief becomes your lifestyle, How You Show Up leaves you with one powerful question: What is possible for you?
How You Show Up Study Guides!
This book was written to be used, not just read, and how you use it should fit the room you're in. That's why the study guide comes in three versions. One is built for educators, with reflection questions and discussion prompts made for staff meetings, PLCs, and book studies. One is for business and organizational leaders, with those same core questions reframed for teams, leadership retreats, and workplace culture conversations. And one is for everyday life, a simpler version made for personal reflection, a small group, or a conversation around your own kitchen table. Grab the one that matches where you're at, and start there.
Additional Book Materials
